Chapter 2 - Internet Dating

I almost made this column about fuck buddies but not sure if I want to write about that yet as I haven't seen my most recent fuck buddy in almost a month and decided instead to write about current things that are going on in the black whole that is my dating life. Tonight I want to write a little bit about Craigslist and Myspace men.

For those of you who live in a cave, Myspace is a social network where you can stay connected with friends and even make new friends and even meet prospective dates. Craigslist is basically an internet classified ad, similar to a newspaper but with pictures ( some are very graphic pictures). Now don't everyone go running to Craigslist right now, it will still be there after you finish reading my blog.

I am a pretty conservative person and even a little shy at first. I don't usually make the first move, the exception is when I've been drinking (which is 1-2 nights a week). I recently invited a guy who I had seen listed on Craigslist and then seen again on Myspage group for Cincinnati Singles to be a friend through Myspace. Even though this guy looked extrely hot in his Craigslist ad and thought if nothing else he would be cool to hang out with, I decided not to write to him because he lives very far away, like an hour drive. When I then saw him again on the Cincinnati Singles group in Myspace and I had had a few drinks I decided to invite him to be a friend of mine and told him that it sucked he lived so far away but maybe we could be friends. I received a reply the next day thanking me for adding him and we began a correspondence that has lasted almost a week now. That isn't a very long time but we've written to each other several times a day back and forth. Good dialog although he can't type, only chicken peck so it's not as deep of conversations as if we were say talking on the phone or in person. His "thing" is that he wants to get married. I'm not sure I want to go there, not today anyway, but maybe if he is the right guy, who knows. Well after a night of drinking a bottle of wine and corresponding with him I let it slip that I had seen his craigslist ad and that I look at those ads to see what's out there (to date that is) and enjoy giggling with my girlfriends at the penis pictures in the Casual Encounters section (and there are lots of those!!). Well much to my surprise before we even had a chance to meet, this hot guy has resposted his craigslist ad TODAY!! I am not sure if he is testing me to see if I am still looking or if he has changed his mind about marrying me, as he said that is what he wanted to do (which of course is completely ridiculous). I was concerned about being with him anyway, he told me he was poor white trash and unemployed right now looking for a job (but even so, he is hot!!). Well, I guess I will be better off not getting together with him and that I know how he is before I meet him. This is Craigslist guy # 2. Read on to hear about Craigslist guy # 1.

Craigslist guy # 1 sounded perfect, except he was also a distance from my house. He wrote in his ad that he had a sick sense of humor and that he liked horror movies. Sounds perfect (for me anyway as I am slightly dark and twisted). He looked tall and said he is the nice guy that girls never go for, instead they go for the wrong type of guy. I wrote to him in a drunken stupor and even flirted with him a little bit. He wrote back and we started corresponding. I invited him to come over and watch movies at my house or go out to see a movie or something. His reply was that I might take advantage of him, and he had often in our correspondence told me that he needed an aggressive woman who will make the first move as he is never able to because he's shy. I told him I don't have a problem making the first move. He made a comment that if he came over to my house to watch a movie that I might take advantage of him and my reply was that it would be the first time we would meet and that he was fairly safe but there was always wishful thinking. His reply was that he might already be wishful thinking. My reply was then what is he afraid of? I never received a reply after that. I guess he was not just the nice guy that girls never went for, he was the asshole guy that was just looking to get laid. I carouse the Craigslist ads on a fairly regular basis and later found an ad very similar to his in the Casual Encounters section (which is exactly what it sounds like, people wanting to find someone to have sex with) where the man was looking for sex instead of a girlfriend, I'm sure it was him only the picture only showed his bare chest (which really wasn't all that to look at). Craigslist guy # 1 has reposted his ad (for dating) about once or twice a week. I don't think he'll ever find what he's looking for as he seems to really just want to find a girl who will have sex with him but in his ad he is looking for a girlfriend. There's a big difference.

Now, that I'm all Craigslisted out (I still like to look but don't think I will be writing to anyone from that world again) let's move on to Myspace. I like Myspace because there is usually a lot of information about the people who request to be your friend. Most of the time guys ask me to be friends, but there are a few exceptions, I've asked a few guys to be friends (craigslist guy # 2 was one of those). The most recent guy who asked me to be his friend and started sending me messages seemed like a nice guy, a little bit older than me, 47, but not bad looking in his pics. We had barely talked on myspace, just a few messages back and forth and had even discussed going the following weekend to meet and have a few drinks. He told me he was new to Myspace. Well apparently he was because he sent me a message that he meant to send to someone else. It wasn't a message that seemed to mean anything, just telling someone to have fun and be careful. No idea who it was meant for, but I kind of got the feeling that he was talking to a lot of other women on myspace. I really couldn't tell because he kept his friends hidden. I was a little more than annoyed when I read this message and told him that if he is a myspace whore talking to every woman he befriends then I'm really not interested in him and have had problems with myspace guys in the past. I told him to have fun on myspace but I wasn't interested in meeting him. Since then he has sent me 6 messages and 4 image comments all of which have gone unread. It may have very well been an innocent mistake and an innocent message going to one of his friends, but I was annoyed by it, have limited patience for myspace whores especially after I've had a few drinks.

Next myspace guy I would like to talk about was a very nice guy. We wrote and then talked on the phone and then decided to meet and go out. He took me to a local steakhouse which was good but thought he was dense because he couldn't pick up the signs that after we finished out dinner the waitress came back several times to get the check but he wasn't ready to pay yet as we were waiting a few minutes before the movie started which I thought was rude anyway that we were holding the waitresses table hostage. He wanted to wait though, so I didn't protest. Then when we were ready to pay and go to the movie across the street the waitress was nowhere to be found and he complained about that. That was only one thing that I should have called him on but didn't. The other thing was that he mentioned to me that his brother was at the restaurant, his brother who he didn't talk to and he had to text someone about it. But it wasn't just one or two text messages throughout dinner, it was an entire text conversation throughout dinner and even the movie. OK, well, it was about telling his brothers ex that he had seen his brother or something. I was a little annoyed, but besides the text and the thing with the waitress, he was still like a nice guy, good job, opened the door to his truck for me. I gave him another chance and had him over to my house for BBQ ribs and to watch a movie. Still with the text messages. He is a business owner and the first texts he told me was about a job, well, that's understandable. I can't get upset for him working, just glad that he is working, but as the night progressed he continued texting even while watching the movie. I asked if all of those texts are for work and he said no, that was just a friend of his he was texting. So he's obsessed with text messaging. That was the last time I saw him. I shouldn't have to tell a 30 something year old that it's not polite to text on a date. Well, I have a couple more stories of guys who have found me on myspace but they are guys that were actually in my life years ago and wanted to reconnect so I won't lump them in with the unknowns that make up my bad internet dates. I have been told as you may have already read in Chapter 1, that the perfect guy suggested I try internet dating like match.com. I haven't gone there yet but maybe that will be something to consider if I don't find somebody soon. Well, this concludes chapter 2. Please stay tuned, I think the next chapter will be on ex boyfriends, although I may actually need to make a whole series for that, unless something happens in my dating life between now and then that is. Well this is Keri, over and out and still single in Milford.

Welcome to my blog/meeting the perfect guy.

Welcome to my blog! I guess I should introduce myself, my name is Keri and I reside in the city of Milford Ohio which is just east of Cincinnati. I am a single woman aged 34, Sagittarius (which happens to be the only sign that has a weapon, a fact that I am particularly proud of), I work in customer service (I could write books about work experiences and some of them will leak into this blog I'm sure), and did I say single? Yep, single and looking, some days I feel like I will just be perpetually single, my friends are already making jokes that I will end up as a crazy cat person (that definitely won't be me as I have no desire to take care of another cat after the fiasco with my ex's cats which you will all read about down the road). I'm a little nutty for my age, and in no way mature. I like to have fun and goof a lot. And presently, I don't think I have any girlfriends who are single, in fact, I don't think any of the girls I work with (and I work in a call center, there are a lot of girls there) are single. Everyone has a boyfriend or a husband; let's see, that make me a third wheel.

The inspiration for this blog is Sex and the City and Carrie Bradshaw's experiences dating in New York. Had originally thought about naming this blog sex and the suburbs but that would be too much of a rip from SATC and it would be wholly inaccurate if there is no sex, so Dating in the Suburbs works much better for me. I have often shared my dating adventures and misadventures with friends and was encouraged to write about them in a blog which brings me here. I'm new to blogging but love to write, just out of practice. Eventually when I am disciplined enough I will sit down and write my first novel, I'm sure you will read all about that when it happens if you are all still here with me.

Now to the juicy. I made it out of the house all weekend. I worked late Friday night but was invited to go see some friends at a bar in the neighborhood we grew up in. It was after 1 am when I arrived and my very good friend Steph was trashed. She had attended a funeral that day and it had been especially hard on her. She was very sad one minute remembering her friend who had passed and very happy the next. This was one of the very rare times that she had more to drink than I did. At one point her boyfriend who seems like a really nice guy requested the dj play a song and the two of them got up to dance. It was already last call and I had had just 2 drinks and had to head home soon as I was working the following day. As I sat alone at the bar waiting for my couple friends to return from their dance a man came up and used the ashtray that was in front of me (smoking is actually illegal in bars in Ohio now but some of them still allow it and are willing to pay the fines to keep the smoking customers coming back). He was a handsome guy, clean cut, short dark hair wearing a white button down dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up that wasn't tucked in. He tried to light his cigarette with a match but it didn't light so he grabbed the lighter that was sitting on my pack and lit it. I noticed he had strong forearms when he did this, which was really hot. He sat down next to me and introduced himself. I introduced myself in return. We started talking a little bit but within a few minutes my friends came back from their dance and my dear friend Steph came up to me and this handsome man and tried to introduce us (she had asked him his name and then told him my name). Steph was drunk and may not have been able to see the sparks that were already flying, but I certainly could see them. I was so excited to finally meet a handsome, intelligent, college educated man with a good job and his own house (I am a homeowner too btw, I'm not looking for a man who has a house to move in with, just believe it's a sign of responsibility for a man to have their own home). Was this guy really here? Steph kept telling me he was cute, she probably meant to whisper it to me, but she was saying it loud enough for him and half the bar to hear. Her boyfriend grabbed her and they left and this gorgeous man offered to walk me to my car, ummm HELL YES!!!

Walking to the car we discussed home ownership and the cicadas that are out in force this summer. I mentioned to him that I was going to be having a party next month and of course he was invited. We got to my car and he kissed me which was incredible (the last guy I tried to date couldn't kiss at all, it was more like tongue wrestling but that will be for another blog). Ok, so let's see, looks (check), intelligence (check), responsible (check), nice (so far check), good job (check), good kisser (check thank freaking god), pinch me, is this for real? So we are kissing leaning against my car and then we exchange phone numbers and he tells me I'm smoking hot. Then he tells me, oh by the way, I probably should tell you that I have a girlfriend that I live with (WTF???). How is it I finally meet the right guy and he's not even available. As much of a flirt as I am when I've been drinking I did not come on to him at all, he approached me. He then apologized and told me he has been with his girlfriend for 5 years and will never break up with her, he just had wanted to kiss me since I walked into the bar, wanted to feel what it was like to kiss a girl again for the first time. I told him he needed to go home to his girlfriend. He wanted to kiss me again, at first I protested but then gave in, after all it was very nice to kiss him. He was tall and had broad shoulders and I could tell he worked out. He wanted to talk to me so I invited him into my car and we drove up away from the houses I was parked in front of and then parked closer to the bar.

We talked about school and his friends and how bored he was with his girlfriend. I told him he should be glad to have someone in his life that he cares about, myself I was dying to meet a nice guy. He suggested I try internet dating. 2 of his friends had success meeting girls on internet dating websites and one of them was even getting married. He told me that I shouldn't give up that there are guys out there. He told me he liked me a lot and it was nice talking to someone on the same wavelength as he was. He would have been so perfect. As it was already after 3 am I told him that I had to go as I had to work the next day. We kissed again, several times in fact. I felt bad that I was kissing another girls boyfriend and knew that I would be crazy angry if a boyfriend of mine had kissed another woman. He waived as I drove away and I turned on my radio (Buckcherry cd just happened to be playing Everything). I listed to it and lit up another cigarette when my cell rang. It was him calling already wanting to talk, he likes to talk to people when he's driving. I told him I needed to concentrate on the road as even though I've only had 2 drinks I still didn't wish to be pulled over. He said he understood and we said our goodbyes and hung up.

I expected this guy to annoy me and want to be friends or something, he had mentioned he wanted me to meet his girlfriend and her cousin that they would really like hanging out with me but I told him that would be just too weird and he realized I was right. It's been 3 days and he hasn't called again. This is the first time I'm actually glad not to hear back from a man. I guess this would be my luck to meet the *perfect* guy and he wouldn't be available. I really don't need to go to a bar to find an unavailable guy though, there's one I'm trying to keep in the background. Maybe I'll write about him one day. I thought that maybe this guy would decide to break up with his girlfriend, but I don't think I would want him if he did. If he did it to her he might do it to me. So where oh where are all the single AVAILABLE men? I'll keep looking. Keri over and out and still single.