Chapter 4 - The Fuck Buddy

Ok, so there's this guy who went to my same high school. He is 5 years older then me and although we didn't know each other in high school he knew my older brothers. I don't remember him at all from back in my high school days and the weeks and months after high school. Apparently he saw me while I was working at a local restaraunt and I invited him to come over to my apartment (which back in the day was a small roach infested efficiency). He tells me that we made out but we didn't have sex (I wouldn't have sex with him, or so he tells me). This guy found me on myspace last fall and although I didn't recognize him I approved him to become a friend and was surprised to find that he not only went to my high school, he also worked for the same cable company where I work only he's in another department. We started corresponding through messages on myspace at first I was just trying to figure out who he was and how he knew me. It didn't take me long to find out his name and that it was common knowledge that he had slept with my best friend. It took even less time to find out that he had a very bad reputation for sleeping with girls and then never calling them again. My ex boyfriend who for a brief time was a fuck buddy made it very clear to me that if I ever see this guy that he would then be off limits to me for fear of catching an std. This guy was bad news. This is what everyone was telling me, don't get involved with him. Even one of my best friends in the whole world warned me against him. But it had been 15 years since I was in high school, people change, right?

After an arguement I stopped seeing my ex altogether right before Valentines Day this year and decided it wouldn't hurt to go meet this guy for a drink. It took some time to coordinate when would be a good time, it wasn't until March that we decided to meet, I was going to take him out for a couple drinks for his birthday but right before his birthday a close friend of his passed away, she was the fiance of one of his best friends. We decided to still meet for a drink, but not on his birthday, but the following Sunday which happened to be Easter. We talked and played pool and then just sat in the bar for a while after they closed and talked. We then walked back to his place and watched a little tv and kissed. At the time I had a really bad cold and just felt horrible and didn't want to meet him right away but figured he needed a friend right about then with his friend just passing. I didn't stay as he wanted me to. I was too sick and although I would have liked to stay and make out with this guy who was clearly into me (and I was definatley into him), I just wasn't up to it with my cold. After talking to him for a while we had made a ton of plans. He was going to come to my house the following Saturday and grill out and have a few drinks, then we were going to a concert together the next Sunday, and he had even told me he had a boat and wanted to take me out on it. This guy was awesome and I think I floated home that night on my own personal cloud. I was so glad that I didn't listen to all the rumors.

During the next few days I asked this guy to drop off some of his business cards for me as he was in sales at my company and I had a friend who was interested in getting service with us and it would help him to get the sale. He dropped off the cards and seemed a little standoffish, not nearly as into me as he had been just a few days before, but that could have had a little something to do with the alcohol he had been drinking, perhaps he was shy. I mentioned the steaks I had picked up to grill out that Saturday and made sure to let him know if he drank too much at my house I would tie him to my bed so he couldn't drive himself home, he definately seemed interested at the prospect of being tied to my bed. I couldn't wait. I had everything ready when the day came, steaks marinating, corn on the cob ready to throw on the grill, and steak fries ready to throw in the oven. We hadn't set a specific time when he was going to come over so I just kind of waited for him to show up. And I waited some more. And then I got hungry so decided to go ahead and cook only to find that the self ignitor on my grill wasn't working and ended up just going through a drive thru for dinner. I then started drinking. No sign of this guy in sight, no call, no text, no nothing. After quite a bit to drink I sent him a message to let him no that I was ok even though he stood me up. Then I deleted him from my friend list on myspace. We messaged each other back and forth a few times and he apologized several times and said that he was with his friend who had just lost his fiance and that his friend was pretty upset, he didnt' want to leave him. I'm a pretty understanding person, but that's what phones are for, if you can't make it, call me. I would have completely understood under the circumstances, but CALL ME, don't leave me sitting waiting to hear from you. I was a little intoxicated and a lot pissed off. I told him we could still be friends but that I wasn't going to try to date him again. Well, things happened, we continued to correspond on myspace and even decided to get together just for sex (it had been a while since I stopped seeing my ex and had an itch that I really needed scratched, even if it was with this guy). He came to my house early and waited in his car (he had promised me that he would never stand me up again) until exactly 7 pm when he was supposed to be here. I decided to delete details, but all I can say is WOW. After that we became fuck buddies, he would call me or I would call him or we would text and usually I would stop by his place on my way to work.

Things were pretty good for a while, until the inevitable happened. I started really looking forward to seeing this guy. I got excited and my heart beat wildly when I knew I was going to see him. OH MY GOD!!!! I HAD FEELINGS FOR THIS GUY!!! How the hell did that happen? It was mostly a sexual relationship, but after we were done we would usually hang out and talk or watch tv until I had to go to work or until I left his place. This was all wrong, I can't have feelings for this guy...or can I? I couldn't tell him about these feelings, I could barely even talk to him and had a nervous excitement anytime I was with him or even if I knew I was going to see him. I decided that I had to tell him how I felt and that maybe I did want to go out with him after all. I sent him a message telling him how I felt about him and that all he had to do was ask me out. I know he read the message on a Tuesday night around 9 pm. Wednesday came and went and I didn't hear from him, then Thursday, then Friday, and now here it was Saturday night. I was at home having a few drinks watching movies when I got an im from him. It was around 2 am and he was drunk and horny and wanted me to drive to his house to have sex with him. I told him I was too drunk to drive, his response was drive really slow. I was pretty upset and told him how I felt about him and that I didn't just want to have sex with him anymore, I wanted a lot more. He told me it was silly that we were talking about this in im and that I should go to his house (knowing full well that I was hammered). At the time I was supposed to be set up the following week by a friend of mine with a guy who I initally didn't give a chance because I met him right about the same time as I met my fuck buddy (before the fuck buddy stood me up). I decided to cut my fuck buddy loose and open myself to be set up by my friend. I told my fuck buddy this and he said he understood.

I was never set up by my friend because the night we were supposed to meet he had to attend a press conference and wasn't able to attend our montly get together where a few friends who were all laid off of a company we worked for still gathered. The next month came and went and I was still optimistic about being set up by my friend. And then the worst happened, the bar that we met at closed and had a for sale sign in the window. So here I was no prospect of meeting this new guy and I had ended all contact with my fuck buddy. Damn.

As things were I had a party planned and I had invited my fuck buddy to it previously and didn't want to have hard feelings against him so I sent him the official invite when I sent invites to everyone else. After sending the invite, I sent him an instant messages (after a few cocktails - note, I really should stop drinking, these evening beam or rum and diet Pepsi's really seem to get me in trouble), the instant message said he should bring a girlfriend to my party or a cute friend that he could set me up with. I told him that I couldn't guarantee that I wouldn't flirt with him (flirting seems to go hand in hand with mixed drinks and jello shots) at the party which would be bad because we work together and don't want to give the impression to co-workers that we're seeing each other. He replied to tell me that he would be at the party and this opened communications. He started texting me to see if I had to work and one night I told him I was off he asked me to come over. I did. It was just as incredible as before. Nothing was ever mentioned about my feelings for him, but he told me he missed me. It was just another week until my party and true for his word he came. He was the only person who stayed over although I had told everyone if they drank too much they were welcome to stay. We had a great night and an even better morning. I thought things might actually work out for us this time.

We had discussed going to see a movie together that we both wanted to see, so I sent him a message to ask if he wanted to go the following weekend. He replied that he already had plans, which was cool. It wasn't until later that week that I found while browsing the ads (some of them are very humerous and I only check them for entertainment), that my fuck buddy had posted an ad the very next day after he left my house. He was looking for a girlfriend who was decent and had morals and good sence (yeah, that's how he spelled it). I was furious, and hurt. I decided to be diplomatic about the situation though, I replied to the ad he posted to let him know that I understood that nothing more would ever happen between us and needed to cut him loose for good, and I did. That was almost 6 weeks ago and I still think about him quite a bit. I had started seeing someone else who will probably be the subject of my next blog but it didn't last very long (and even when I was with him I thought a lot about my fuck buddy). I guess I am still hopeful that Mr. Right is still out there. In the meantime I joined a personals website last night. Still haven't checked yet to see if I've gotten any responses, but figure it can't hurt (if nothing else it will give me some more material to write about). Well until next time, this has been Keri, still single and still looking, over and out.

Chapter 3 - The One Who Got Away

It's been a minute since I've written about my misadventures in dating, no fear that I'm not single anymore, just have been busy working a lot at my day job. There have been a few developments in my personal life, but not much of developments. I guess we'll discuss boyfriend possibility number one. I went out partying with my girlfriend Steph one night and after spending a lot of time at a lame ass bar that I liked only because it had an outdoor patio where I could drink and smoke legally we decided to finally leave and go somewhere else as the only hot guy had left already. We went to another local bar here in Milford. It was pretty late, around 12 or 1 am by the time we got there and had a few more drinks and checked out the hot freaking men there (well I did anyway, Steph's attached). I ended up talking to one who gave me a ride home and we had really fucking great sex (insert condom ad, this night was brought to us by Trojan Her Pleasure (and it really was her pleasure that night)). Now come on, don't be judgemental, I had stopped seeing my fuck buddy the month before and was really wanting it bad, and it's not like anyone reading this has never ever had a one night stand. I didn't expect it to be a one night stand, he was a very hot guy, 30 years old, had a good job, nice body (really, really nice) and he was just hot. He had to leave a few hours later because his son was being dropped off at 7 am and he had to be home when his ex dropped him off. Before he left my house he gave me his phone number and I put it in my cell phone and each time I repeated it back I was wrong (the 8 or so beam and cokes I'd drank might have had something to do with that). Finally, the last time I repeated it back to him he told me I had it right and even though I didn't correct it in my cell phone directory I knew I would remember it. He told me to call him and then he kissed me while he held my face in his strong hands (wow, I love it when guys do that), and then he told me again to call him and I told him again that I would. He kissed me again before he repeated one last time for me to call him, this time I told him I would call him that I would call him today (it was today already nearing 4 am) and then he kissed me one last time before he left. It was so hot, I was on cloud nine and went to sleep and woke up with a smile.



I didn't in fact call him that day, due to circumstances that were out of my control. I just didn't have time to call him because of unexpected events and then working late. I settled on calling him the next night after I got off work. I tried calling the number that was in my cell phone and unless he turned black since he left my house early Saturday morning, I had the wrong number. Then it hit me how I kept entering his phone number wrong. I probably called 10 variations of the phone number I thought was his before finally giving up. Well, I guess giving up is not quite right, I gave up on calling him. I decided (kicking and screaming and dragging my feet the whole way) to post my very first ad in Craigslist under the missed connections column. I simply wrote that he gave me a ride home and that I kept getting his phone number wrong even though he told me 3 times what it was. I put for him to reply to my ad or to just stop by my house as we live in the same neighborhood. Much to my disappointment I received no reply and he hasn't stopped by my house.

Ok, was I really going to let this hot guy get away just like that? No, I don't think so. It took me a couple weeks to get the nerve up, but on 4th of July I decided since I didn't have any plans to walk down to the bar (it's a little ways from my house or I would go there more) and see if he was there. Much to my suprise he was there and surrounded by a group of his friends. It was impossible to get him alone so I didn't even try. I wanted to tell him that I tried to call him but had the wrong phone number, but didn't want to say it in front of his friends. I left myself open for him to come talk to me, I sat alone at a patio table just having my beam and coke and cigarette. He did waive to me and even said hi and we had 'small talk' and it was so small. I wanted to just scream why won't you just come over and talk to me, but I was way too sober to try anything like that. I still don't know if he didn't want to see me again or if maybe he thought I didn't want to see him again because I never called. Apparently him and his friends all go to said bar pretty frequently. I suppose I could go up there one night around closing time and would have pretty good odds of hooking up with him, but that's not what I want. I don't need another fuck buddy. I still have major heartbreak issues from my last fuck buddy. I suppose I can't put that blog off much longer, you'll read about him in the next post which will include new developments in that relationship. I'm very sad that I had the wrong number and never got together again with hot guy from the bar. Girls and guys take a lesson, make sure you have the right phone number before you let that hottie out of your sight. I guess for now I'll keep looking. This is Keri over and out and still single.