Chapter 7 - Potential???

Well, I haven't been true to my last post. I haven't gone out, well I have but not to meet people, more to help a younger friend celebrate her 21st birthday but the whole night I ended up talking about my fuck buddy (or former fuck buddy). As things have turned out, I sent my fuck buddy a couple messages to let him know that I do not hate him (as he thought I did), but in fact I care a lot about him. I let him know that I will always be his friend but I will get mad and disappointed and if I think he's being a jerk I'll call him out on it, but other times (like New Years Eve I might just be disappointed and get pissed off at him for no good reason). I'm a pretty rational person and know that he didn't tell me for sure that he would make it to my party, I just really hoped he did and of all of my guests; he was the only one who really mattered that came to me. Well, that's not true, I cared about my good friends showing up, but he was the one person on this great planet Earth who I really wanted to spend New Years with and was extremely disappointed when he didn't show up. I apologized to him in the messages for being a bitch as I obviously had been and told him that no matter what, even if he thinks I hate him, I don't . I also made sure to tell him I would always be there for him no matter what, even if he thinks I hate him I will be there for him. I included that I knew how much he wanted to retrieve some belongings of his from a storage space in Arizona and that I would like to for his birthday in March help him get his stuff back. After 2 long drunk messages to fuck buddy and a text to let him know about the messages I had sent him I passed out from the large quantity of alcohol I had consumed. The next morning I woke up with text messages from him asking if I was awake (obviously not, I was passed out by then) and the next text told me he was just thinking about me the night before. We text for the better part of the day before he asked me in a text if I would consider going on a road trip with him. I told him yes before I knew where we were going but assumed it was to Arizona to get his stuff. I was right. We made all of the plans and worked out renting a cargo van and getting time off from work and set it all in stone.

The next week we were on the road for a 4 day 3 night trip to Arizona. We spent the first night in a run down hotel and passed out from exhaustion of driving and me being up for over 30 hours from working the night before we left. It was not a good time of the month for me so nothing happened unfortunatley. By the second night we were in Arizona and he had made arrangements with his mother for us to stay at her house (in seperate guest bedrooms). His mother was very nice and took us out to breakfast the following morning and also took us to the grocery store and bought us lunch meat and bread for the trip back. She even gave her son (my fuck buddy) a George Foreman grill and then offered to give me a set of wine glasses. I refused them and told her that my fuck buddy (her son) might like them, but I didn't need a gift, it was nice to get away from the cold temperatures in my town for nicer weather. Soon we were back on the road headed home.

The third day we drove quite a bit, until 3 am. My fuck buddy and me had gotten into a small arguement about whether we should drive straight through or not. He wanted to just make the whole trip and I wanted to stay at a hotel. I needed a shower and sleep. I gave in and let us drive straight through but he stopped at a hotel I had picked out knowing that I was tired. We showered and slept, well he slept anyway. Not long after he crawled into bed with me he scooted close to me and it wasn't long after that I felt his arm around me. We spooned for most of the few hours that we had the hotel together early that morning. Paying for that hotel was the best money I had ever spent. When the wake up call came at 7:30 that morning I answered it and then lay back down and he again put his arm around me and pulled me close to him. It was heavenly. I guess my friends are right, all other men will forever be spoiled for me as long as he is in my life.

Even though I didn't get any sleep I was rested enough to continue the drive. He drove the first 2 hours and I drove most of the rest only turning over the wheel for the last 2 hours. It wasn't until we were close to home that he mentioned how he would like to go on a road trip with me for fun and not for a purpose as this had been mostly a recovery mission to get his stuff out of storage. He even told me about how much fun it was to play frisbee golf and agreed to teach me how to play. We had a great trip and talked and laughed a lot. I was sad it was over. I know that there is more to come with the fuck buddy. We are planning a fun trip together, well, I guess more of a vacation really. We have plans to play frisbee golf, and he's even offered to bring a blanket back to me and the wine glasses that he insist that I take that his mother gave me. I text him after I got home just to say cheers as I told him I would be making a drink and knew he had bought a bottle of wine. He text me back a kiss (muah) and told me thanx again. I guess I still have no idea where this is going to lead but I like him a lot; hell, who am I kidding, I love him, he's worth waiting for. I have been careful not to push the envelope, haven't contacted him for the last 2 days because I know he's been busy. He took off work Friday to go through his stuff and he had to work all day today. I guess when he has time he'll get back in touch with me. I know he's a hard person to get close to but I think I'm breaking down some of his walls. I guess for now I'm just going to sit back and see how things play out. I want to say that I won't be too disappointed if sparks don't fly, but I guess I know myself too well. I'm sure I'm just setting myself up to be heartbroken again but those are the risks you have to take with any relationship. If it doesn't work out or he's just not as into me as I am him then I will just need to move on and hope I don't meet another text guy or bad kisser or even worse, bad lover. Well, this has been Keri, over and out and still single.