FUCK!!!! Ok, sorry to offend by that blatant use of profanity, but really, FUCK!!! Are all men out there assholes? I thought I kicked my fuck buddy to the curb and then he started texting me again out of the blue and was being very coy about asking me if I was awake and when my new schedule is and what my days off are. I'm sensing hidden agenda, like he might need to borrow my car again. I'm not really worried about that because I've been emailing a guy I work with who I'm a little interested in until I start looking at his profiles on certain social networking sites and I see pictures of him with his wife. WTF??? After I told said guy that I wouldn't date guys that are in my department becuase it would be too weird if things didn't work out he told me he was looking to go to another department so he could date me. It was only later that I saw the pictures and suspected he was married and asked him about it and he admitted that he thought I knew. Why the hell would a married man even think I would want to go out with him? Somebody please shoot me.

So basically, I'm in hell right now. I'm pissed off at my fuck buddy because I've text him 19 times this weekend and he hasn't bothered to text me back. I'm feeling extremely used even though we haven't had sex, it was just the fact that he wants to keep a string between me and him, he wants to keep that connection in case he ever does need me or needs to have a surrogate girlfriend who will be there for him without having to have that committment. I'm a hating him right now and asked him to lose my number but still offered to change my number just in case he can't handle my simple request.

God, why are men such jerks? I have a guy on one hand who I know is into me but he's married and another guy who is into me too but only when it suits his purpose and he's completely single. Why can't I ever find just one guy who loves me for me and isn't married? Please see the chapter on the perfect guy for reference. I think I need to see my dr and up my meds after these turn of events. Oh, btw, I'm on meds because I have pmdd, serious emotional destress when I am pmsing (trust me, if you were dating me you would be very happy that I'm on these meds). I just don't get guys nowadays. What the hell do they want besides sex? Even my fuck buddy can't commit to a regular sexual relationship. I think he's afraid to get to close to anyone. If a fuck buddy can't commit to just sex then how am I going to find a guy who can commit to more than that? I'm lost. Well, this has been another chapter of my sad pothetic single life. This is Keri, still single and not quite desperate but getting there. Over and out.